What Happened to Discipline?
Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death. Proverbs 19:18
“You are a mean Mom,” were the exact words the little kindergartner used when I suggested she stop jumping up and down on the arm of my living room chair. I had invited two of my daughter’s classmates to come home with her and play for the afternoon and quite honestly I was now rethinking my plan.
Each of them repeated this same statement frequently that afternoon as time and again I found it necessary to explain to them that in our home there were rules that everyone was expected to follow. It was not that I thought that my rules should apply to children other than my own, even though it was my house, that seemed to befuddle them quite as much as the fact that I had set rules at all.
The girls made this clear when they insisted that their parents “rocked” because they didn’t have any rules. I sat and listened, dismayed as each of them continuously topped the other with the various things they were allowed to do. Oh how proud they were that their parents would do or buy them anything they wanted. (Their words not mine.)
Well as you can probably tell even though time has passed, I am still disturbed by the experience. My heart breaks for these and any other children whose parents do not love them enough to set rules for them to follow and discipline them when they break those rules. The Bible has much to say in the area of raising children. God has told us in His Word that our purpose as parents is to raise children who know, love, and serve Him.
When I searched the scripture today I found no reference anywhere to God telling us to become our children’s best friend or to do whatever it takes to make them think we “rock.” I’m sorry for the sarcasm but this seems to be the goal of many parents today. How do I know that this is the wrong way to raise children, you ask? Easy, because it is not the way our Father in heaven deals with us.
As His children, we have been given rules to follow, in the Old Testament they were written on stones, for Christians today they are written on our hearts. We are expected to be obedient children. When we obey our Father we reap the rewards, but when we go astray we pay the consequences. My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. Proverbs 3:11,12
God lovingly deals with each of us based on His intimate knowledge of us. He knows what is best for each of His children and He is always prepared to give it to us, no matter how much it might hurt Him and us. His ultimate desire for each of His children is that we be conformed to His image. The Lord’s ways are perfect. His is the best example for us to follow when dealing with our own children.
If we seek to raise a Godly offspring, we as parents must love our child enough to set rules, require our child to follow these rules, and punish him or her when they fail. Love this strong and wise may help keep that child from the torment of eternal hell, and also get them invited back to a classmates’ home.
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My husband and I have always agreed that our goal is not to be our children’s friend, but to be their parent. We understand that this means there are going to be times that they won’t like us very much because of the rules we set. We’re okay with that.
I may never be the “cool” mom, but I think that I’m giving my children far more in the end by the rules that will be established in our home.