This is the second and final part of my thoughts on having Multiple Sclerosis. I have really appreciated your comments on the first post. I think this Awareness column just might work.

My whole take on having MS can be wrapped up in my dear Grandmother’s first and last statements regarding it. I’ll tell you a bit about her first so you can understand just how profound her statements were and why they capture so well my thoughts.

When she was 12 years old she was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. She grew to get married and raise three children, my mother being her youngest. No person who ever met her left not knowing the greatness of God’s grace. She embodied for me the scripture, “My grace is sufficient for you, My power is made perfect in weakness.”

My Grandmother was my very own personal Rock Star. I adored her and I never felt anything less than adored when I was with her.

She happened to be in town when I was first placed in the hospital. She watched my decline and had suggested to my parents, four months before the professionals, that I might have MS. Mom and Dad got me settled in my hospital room and then Grandma (I always called her Grandma, but I think she preferred Grandmother) stayed with me while they went to take care of my brothers, who had no clue I wasn’t at school.

Grandma sat and joked with me and helped make light of things. I didn’t know then what she knew about the road ahead of me. A nurse came in to give me an IV, my first in a lifetime. I was terrified of needles and certain that there was some mistake. I was told I was only there for an overnight visit and told the nurse as much.

Grandma gave me her hand - her gnarled, crooked - hand and told me I could squeeze as hard as I needed to, but that, “Things are likely to get a lot worse from here on, no sense throwing a fit.”

I don’t think I will ever in my life forget what it felt like to sit there and hold her hand while I got that first of hundreds of IVs. It was an instant where her lifetime of living in a handicapped, warped body was met by my youthful form just beginning to start my own journey. She knew well what was in store, and though it frightened her, she gave me strength.

I have often thought that God gave me that moment. That starting of the race with my Rock Star at my side. She lived hours away and was just there for a random visit. My parents could have stayed for the IV. Instead, the stage was set for just her and I to sit there and quietly share what was to be her legacy and my charge.

It was less than one year later that she lay dying. Her mind was riddled with Morphine to ease the depth of her body’s pain and she was in and out of conscious thought. My mother was at her side and listened to every breath as she slipped further away. A few days before she was finally freed from her body, she opened her eyes and said to my mother with great clarity and certainty, “Amy’s going to be just fine.”

She taught me many things. She taught me to always match my underwear to my outfit. She showed me how to close Tupperware with my elbow. She impressed on me that it is never too late to learn something new.

More than anything in the world my Grandma taught me, she taught me that this body, this life, this everything, is nothing without the grace of my Savior.

Her words to me at the start told me that there is no sense shrinking back. I must always be prepared to stand against whatever falls in my path.

Her final words about me confirmed the end game God has planned for me all along, “Amy’s going to be just fine.”

If you have known me for long, you have likely heard me say that I am not certain I would like myself too much without MS. This disease has taught me humility, it has forced on me endurance, it has robbed me of any thought but that of Heaven and my Savior risen.

Having children and a husband to look after has changed my tune a bit. As much as I appreciate the many benefits to bearing this daily cross, it saddens me to see that my family must bear it as well.

To be honest, I have declared to the LORD that I am just about lessoned out and am ready to be all that my family needs me to be. As much as I think I am fed up with my circumstance, I remember what my Grandma told me in the very beginning and pick my chin up. No sense throwing a fit with so much to be done.

In the end, I know beyond any doubt that I will be just fine. And know that I have a Rock Star saving my seat.

Categories: Awareness
Tags: chronic disease, health issues, M.S.