There are certain things that I do for my children that I think all parents should do for theirs as well. For instance, I feed my children. I think all parents should feed their children. And I also make certain that they do not run the streets naked. I think all parents should clothe their children.

I think we could all agree that there are things we just assume that a parent would do for a child. When we see a parent not following through with basic needs, we feel compelled to intervene somehow. At the bare minimum, we feel at least compelled to make mental note of the wrong.

What about when the lines become blurred and we start to assume that our personal parenting ideals should be global parenting standards? What about when we take a step further beyond insisting that a parent feed their child and insist that the parent subscribe to a strict vegan diet or else face being scorned as an uncaring parent?

I think one of the more highly debated arguments over standards-v-ideals is that of education. Homeschool? Private school?  Public school? Camps have developed in this battle and lines have been drawn.

I didn’t know much about the camps or the lines when my husband and I discussed our kids’ elementary education. Our conversations were centered on what we thought was best for them and what we knew we could provide. We decided to homeschool, thinking we had made a perfectly logical and sound choice for our children.

It didn’t seem as though anyone thought much of our homeschooling until I was at a reception for a good friend’s wedding and was approached by another friend - a friend in the profession of early childhood education.

“So, isn’t Mackenzie ready for kindergarten this year? What school is she going to?”, she asks me as I tried to dry swallow a bite of cake.

“Uh, well, we’ve decided to homeschool,” I tell her, though I’m surprised at my own hesitancy.

“Why would you go and do that? My kids went through the public school system and they are just fine. You went through the public school system and you’re just fine.”

“Actually, I went to public school, private school, and I was homeschooled,” I am really surprised at how defensive and anxious I have become over the course of this conversation.

My ears burned and I felt suddenly on the spot to provide answers for why I was homeschooling without appearing to cast judgment on her for not homeschooling. How do you say, “I don’t want the social influence that comes with public school in my child’s life at this exact stage”, and not risk sounding like I think no parent should send their child to public school?

I left my conversation with her to seek out the wisdom of a homeschooling friend of mine and was confronted with a different experience. It was high fives and slaps on the back because I had finally come over to the right and righteous parenting tribe.

Torn, I decided to keep my personal homeschooling experience pretty private. I sought out advice and worked with other parents, but for the most part I avoid the “where does you kid go to school?” question like it’s the plague.

Is it possible that some have taken the choice of our children’s education and made standards what are actually ideals? Does this kind of thinking lead to clique mentality that leaves some alienated?

Categories: Awareness
Tags: homeschool, private school, public school